Sitting quietly, it struck me how grateful I am to have heard the phrase “Be your own experiment.” It had been Daaji, Heartfulness Guide, who I heard say this. I recall it being like a breath of fresh air; a wonderful and unique idea I had never heard or considered.
Years on, I marvel at the idea, as if it were a miracle. Yet in reality, the changes it has brought about within myself, and to the outer manifestations of my life, are so far reaching, it can only be but a miracle that has so many invisible far reaching arms and legs, I could never knowingly perceive the reality of it.
It has been so freeing. Likewise, to have been given so many ideas and suggestions through Heartfulness, and not have to take them as commands, as do’s and don’ts etc.; rather, to be able to experiment with them: be given the opportunity to try things out for size, to see, what, if anything, they could bring to my own life and that of others.
Taking the idea of being my own experiment much further in to all areas of my inner and outer world, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, has brought about joy and resolution, perhaps in part joy through resolution, as I have discovered ways to go beyond aspects of myself that neither worked for me in relationships, nor in work. My thoughts, behaviours, attitudes and activities, all remain fertile ground for experimentation; ground where I have free will and choice.
Finally getting to know myself more, I realise how much change has happened through being willing to stretch myself, explore, experiment, being open, saying yes, saying no, helping me discern instead of judge, get anxious, worry, procrastinate, etc., look to the positive instead of the negative, notice what’s ego, what’s not connected or centred.
This is but a flavour of what I savour as I allow myself to sit and wonder. Sit IN wonder.
As I am reminded of all the mini-moments of awe that punctuate my life – that potentially I have taken for granted – it allows me to wonder about life as a grand experiment, and question, is what is behind all life The Ultimate Experimenter? Dabbling in this and that as if an artist at constant play, perhaps spilling paint, having accidents – in a world where perhaps there are no such things as accidents but only experiments. Trying out this and that, seeing what works, what doesn’t, orchestrating, allowing, letting be, all of it manifesting through the laws of nature.
What kind of intelligence, I wonder, lies behind the creation of a plant most recently gifted to me; the flower heads looking somewhat like they are being visited by giant bees, the bee’s bottoms bursting out, while the whole plant smells of honey, literally surrounded by the scent of honey! I can only ask, is this some kind of cosmic comedy, or some kind of experiment drowning in a grand scheme of experiments?
Why such an experiment? Who or what lies behind such possible and potentially endless experiments that surround us in life? To believe in nothing would not compute when I consider the world from such a perspective. Exploring such questions continues to make me smile. Not for a moment could I imagine stopping experimenting, being my own experiment. Think of all the treasures to be found hidden in the simplest moments, through everyday life, and even entombed in the greatest challenges we as individual human beings and the human family generally can face.
Laura Clifton, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK