Last night I dreamed that I had to drive an unknown route to visit an old friend and I was full of fear because I hadn’t driven for years…which is also the case in outer life…I gave up my car five years ago and haven’t driven since. When I woke this morning, I was still feeling the terror of trying to pull out on to a very busy motorway, when I couldn’t turn my head properly to see all the traffic.
And other dream fragments still lingering…that I was on a horse, still trying to visit this old friend. And yet another dream-shift…I was in a TV game-show where I was given an option of Opening The Box.
A very ‘lockdown’ focussed set of dreams, I thought…full of fear and challenges of the unknown. There are so many challenges facing us just now. Will our world ever be restored to ‘normal’? Is the old ‘normal’ what’s needed anyway? I long to hug my lovely son and his wife…I see them regularly on video chats, but it’s not the same. I miss hugs. I’m self-isolating…and oh how I’d like to pop out to a shop, or get a take-out coffee to go sit in the park. I do live alone and I’m used to that, but this quarantine is scary indeed.
And there are days when I don’t want to meditate at all. Of course I know fine that these are the days when I do really need most of all to sit in meditation. In the 27 years I’ve been doing Heartfulness practice, this I have learned! And that’s when I’m grateful that it has become a practice, meaning something I do every day. That gets me over the hump…mostly…of not wanting to sit quietly, for fear that anxiety will get worse. Joining in on-line sittings a blessing too. And doing evening cleaning/rejuvenation helps a lot.
But what I’m most grateful for, just now, is the 9pm Prayer for the World. That really helps me feel connected to the fact the whole of our world is in this together. I don’t think I’ve ever done the 9pm Prayer with such commitment and fervour. We are one, we are all joined in a common humanity, one huge heart.
And as I began with last night’s dream, I thought I’d share a dream I had when I found Heartfulness, nearly thirty years ago. In the dream I come across an old man tending his garden and know, just know…that he’s my spiritual guide. I wrote it down as a poem.
I fled from the light
shining from your unveiled eyes.
And when I stole back, breathless
I saw you walking,
singing to yourself quietly
twilight a purple glimmer in your garden.
I’ve come for my basket, I said.
I left it here.
And my heart is squeezed with the joy
of your exquisite welcome.
The pain of promise, that at heart
I am beloved.
by SHEILA TEMPLETON Glasgow, Scotland May 2020