How do you explain feelings to someone who doesn’t understand the meaning of the word? Though they know the word, it is not part of their everyday vocabulary. They don’t ‘do’ feelings. They ‘do’, and do it very well thank you!

That was me a few years ago when I attended a course on Non Violent Communication. [Non Violent Communication, or NVC, forms the basis of the “Heartful Communication” courses which current Global Heartfulness Guide Daaji has recommended – editor’s note.] I had read the book and I knew the theory. I didn’t have the experience. I didn’t ‘get’ it and I didn’t feel it. When I was given pages of words to describe feelings I was shocked. So many! If I couldn’t recognise anything other than an obvious extreme emotion, which I didn’t display anyway, then how could I possibly identify and describe a feeling, never mind the underlying need? These 2 days were very uncomfortable and challenging for me. I couldn’t apply what I perceived as the formula in the way I could a mathematical equation. The language, or rather the practice, was alien to me.
What was I good at? As a facilitator and trainer, I supported organisations and individuals through major change. When in the flow I could intuitively read a room and tune into the emotions and energy. By listening well and giving good attention I enabled people to solve their own problems.

Those elusive feelings were in me somewhere, I was using them and responding to them to the advantage of others, but I wasn’t able to articulate them in relation to myself. My personal feelings were unexplored territory.

Following the course I didn’t practice NVC but I did read a book that was mentioned – Michael Singer’s ‘Untethered Soul’. That book had a profound impact on me and was a turning point which marked the start of a period of considerable change.

A couple of years and life changes later, I was introduced to Heartfulness. It was the right time for me, I was ready for it and wanted to learn more.

Now, after 2 years of Heartfulness, my language, my attitudes, my beliefs, and probably my whole demeanour, has changed – for the better! I am more positive in outlook, more accepting of what is and better able to recognise and deal with my own emotions.

My inner being may have changed but my style of learning and desire to know and understand hasn’t! I consume the literature, often without understanding, in order to form a sense of the bigger picture. My curiosity about many topics continues to take me down distracting routes but I keep returning to the Heartfulness Natural Path. I am drawn to continue with meditation and to understand more about the practice.

In the beginning I didn’t ‘feel’ anything during meditation and my ongoing practice has been based on trust and a sensing that it is making a positive difference. Now with increased awareness and sensitivity my meditation sometimes ‘feels’ different, though I still can’t quite describe it!

Anne Gibb, July 2020 Edinburgh, Scotland